The Gelato Labs website.

tips.txt 4.2KB

  1. Gelato is edible. Do eat gelato.
  2. If you find gelato on the road, RMA it for credit towards another gelato.
  3. Gelato accepts pull requests! Simply place gelato in the support harness in your starter pack and gently tug spoon.
  4. Gelato's hard, outer enamel casing may become dull with wear. This is normal and will void your warranty.
  5. Ensure gelato is placed in an environment with appropriate ventilation. A minimum 25mm space around gelato is recommended.
  6. Adults: do not operate more than two bowls of gelato every 24 hours. Children: do not operate more than one bowl of gelato every 24 hours. Infants should not operate gelato.
  7. Gelato divided against itself cannot stand, sit or be consumed. Dividing gelato will void your warranty.
  8. Despite claims to the contrary, gelato is not middle-manageable. Do not middle-manage gelato.
  9. Ensure your gelato premium (tm) subscription is paid on time every month. Late payment will permanently disable some features on gelato.
  10. Gelato is not a fire suppressant. Do not fill gelato with Halon 1301.
  11. Clean gelato with cool water and wipe with dust-free cloth. Allow gelato to dry and equilibrate to ensure reliable service.
  12. Gelato front panel includes an easy-to-use interface with a two-line display, giving you access to a comprehensive set of gelato functions and a number of useful sample spoons.
  13. Gelato must be secured to wall with the enclosed wall-anchoring device.
  14. Gelato may react violently to loud noises and strobe lighting. Do not carry gelato while attending warehouse raves.
  15. When pairing gelato with other gelato, be certain you have the receiving gelato oriented toward the sending gelato.
  16. Gelato may cause discoloration of urine or feces.
  17. Gelato can't drive fifty-five.
  18. Gelato may lay up to one hundred billion eggs a week.
  19. Do not throw gelato. Gelato is not a projectile.
  20. Please check all gelato before entering the gaming floor. Use of gelato is not permitted.
  21. Gelato contains strong cryptography and cannot be exported or used domestically in Yemen or Singapore.
  22. If gelato has turned brown, that may indicate the shipping service mistakenly sent you "ice cream" instead.
  23. Gelato does not need Java updates, as gelato is free of Oracle software.
  24. Consult your provider if Gelato lasts four or more hours.
  25. Gelato is not to be confused with Gentoo. Installing Gelato does not fix any problems.
  26. Gelato can not be used as a room refridgeration system.
  27. Gelato is only compatible with IPX. Using TCP or UDP with Gelato will result in lost packets.
  28. Gelato does not have "Intel inside", and does not appreciate your insistence.
  29. Gelato may only be recolored with use of name brand Sharpies. Using store brand permanent markers will result in Gelato malfunction.
  30. Gelato can only be run on Intool 476 series processors and earlier.
  31. Ensure you are filtering gelato correctly. If incorrectly filtered, gelato may be subject to XSD (cross-site-dessert) attacks.
  32. Gelato is extremely volatile. Gelato is not compatible with Sublime Text.
  33. Only prepare gelato with liquid helium gas. Use of nitrogen may provoke 12 year olds.
  34. Gelato may cause fires under certain circumstances.
  35. Vodka and gelato is a good idea.
  36. Do not attempt to inflate gelato. Inflation automatically occurs as the market matures.
  37. At times artificial intelligence may mistake gelato for neurotoxin. Do take your chances.
  38. Raving lunatics have claimed that gelato may bring the end to the Earth.
  39. 9/10 dentists recommend installing gelato to prevent cadmium decay.
  40. If you place gelato in a pot of boiling water it will melt. If you place gelato in a pot of cold water it will melt.
  41. Smoking gelato may result in unintended side-effects such as crushing disappointment, and a pat on the back from the local pot-head.
  42. Gelato is incompatible with most zipping algorithms and all package archivers.
  43. Try the Gelato Cloud(tm) today!
  44. Remember to back up your gelato regularly in case of unexpected melt-downs.
  45. Use of gelato is encouraged while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery.
  46. Do not attempt to connect to gelato with gopher. Gopher may consume gelato.
  47. Beware of fishing scams. Gelato is not effective bait.
  48. Java flavoured gelato is neither particularly tasty, nor affiliated with Oracle.
  49. Do not attempt to script procedures with gelato. Gelato does not have a stable API and is wildly unpredictable.